Milton Keynes Men’s 1st team went on a pleasant, but wintry, jaunt down to Henley. The team arrived focused and ready, despite one car being subjected to a dubious ‘guilty pleasures’ play list.

It did not take long after the start of the game for a pattern to emerge. Milton Keynes were afforded room to transfer around the back and looked dangerous going forward, especially on the break. Whereas Henley tried to run the vast majority of their play through, in this humble reporter’s opinion, the most skilled ginger on the pitch (this has also been verified by multiple sources). On to the first goal. Only a few minutes into the match Milton Keynes were able to break swiftly getting the ball to Liam Foster who fired across goal for Mikey Goalson to deflect in at the back post.

Milton Keynes remained in control, due in no small part to the industrious work of Frazer McColl, Jamie Dodd and Tom ‘Ginge’ Murtagh. This work created the second goal, with the ball breaking to Stephen Ruse just outside the D who passed to Liam Foster to fire in a reverse stick shot into the bottom corner.

Then, to everyone’s surprise, Liam Foster underwent a transformation into the legendary cartoon character – Road Runner. This fortunately created the 3rd goal, as Ginge slid a pass through to Road Runner; who, with a contemptuous “beep, beep”, sprinted off in a cloud of dust leaving the Henley defence bemused and then slotted home to make it 3-0. This takes us to half time and a chance to reflect upon how MK were going to make the game interesting for the spectators.

Well it turned out quite simple for MK to increase interest in the game, they contrived to give away a short corner which Henley put away. However, MK responded with excellent pressing from Ali McColl and Eric Watkins and won the ball back high up the pitch. The ball was played across goal for Road Runner to tap in at the far post. With a healthy lead Danny Newcombe decided that his presence was no longer required and so disappeared, possibly for another ‘haircut’, although this is as yet unconfirmed.

With spectators preparing to leave en masse and demand a refund, MK conceded from another short corner making the game an exciting 4-2 to MK. Further interest was added when a dubious challenge was made by Ginge and a green card was issued. However, in what some historians are calling one of the great injustices of this generation, the green card was mistakenly issued to Stephen Ruse. Although in fairness to the umpire, many of the female persuasion have remarked upon the similarities between the two players.

Being one player down did not stop MK as Nick Anderson and Andy Pettefer continued to move the ball around confidently, albeit frequently off the side line. MK went on to score the goal of the match; with Scott Craig playing the ball down the line to Frazer McColl who moved it onto Mikey Goalson. Goalson found Road Runner in space who fired an open stick shot on goal, which was deflected up into the air. Events started to move in slow motion as Goalson stepped into a pocket of space mere yards from the line, and waited for the looping ball. With an overhead smash that Andy Murray would be proud of Goalson all but sealed the game. Some more hockey was played and Nick Gage made several more good saves. The final goal, which was a deflection after the ball was struck into the D, came too late for Henley to alter the outcome.

A satisfying 5-3 victory for MK has lifted them to 6th in the table.

**Please note that there has been some artistic licence taken with actual events, and in some cases a complete fabrication has been used in lieu of me actually remembering what happened.**

Man of the Match went to Liam Foster for scoring or assisting all 5 goals.

Dick of the Day was Stephen Ruse for selfishly taking Ginge’s hard earned card.