Men 1XI
Matches
Sat 05 Nov 2016  ·  Premier Division 1
Milton Keynes Hockey Club
Men 1XI
L Foster (5'), (10')
7
0
Guildford
MKHC 1st team with dominant display at home to Guildford

MKHC 1st team with dominant display at home to Guildford

Mikey Gilson7 Nov 2016 - 09:57
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Foster and his People

Having suffered a disappointing loss to Henley in the previous week, Milton Keynes Men's First XI returned to FortressMK looking to secure a vital 3 points against bottom of the table Guildford in this weeks episode of South Premier League hockey, brought to you by proud sponsors Durex. Safe Hockey is fun Hockey.

The team talk and preparations focussed on wanting to win, not expecting to win with captain Tom 'Ginge' Murtagh leading proceedings, supported by stand in coach Scott 'don't tell the wife I'm injured' Craig.

Having been relegated from national league in the previous season, Guildford turned up with an excellent support and professional set up, however they poked the mighty MK bear by warming up in the home teams preferred end (the CoachDad End). Milton Keynes let it go like the good hosts they are - preferring to take matters out on the pitch.

Game starts.

For the first 10 minutes, it was a relatively even game. MK enjoyed the lion share of possession but the youthful Guildford team demonstrated the enthusiasm and skill we were expecting. 14 minutes in the home side went ahead. A Nick 'Colonel Nandos' Anderson through ball into the D alluded 4 Guildford defenders to find Liam 'Goalster' Foster to open his account for the season at the backpost.

Then the umpire got injured in an unfortunate twist of events. He retired leaving his assessor to stand in armed in his jeans and a borrowed shirt. Special thanks to him.

An inspired aerial pass was lofted from the halfway line by Ginge, the flight eluding the goalkeeper leaving him fishing like Ben 'the BFG' Northedge in previous weeks to find Frazer 'the Christmas Unicorn' McColl at the back post to volley in. 2-0.

Goalster was hungry for more, again Nick Anderson firing a pass into the D, allowing Goalster to finish. Colonel Nando's experiencing a return to form that we haven't seen since 2011 (not a single DoD vote I think?!). 3-0 and getting comfortable.

Mikey 'the Strongman' Gilson was next to get in on the act. Vince 'shower snacks' Pretorious threatening the D, and offloading to the Strongman to open up the lead further. 4-0.

Milton Keynes didn't let up with Goalster looking to put some distance between him and Ian 'don't need to train' Cooper in the goal scoring charts, Goalster drove in to the D, was assaulted by their defender rounded the goalkeeper and slotted into the net. 5 for MK, and the first HAT Trick of the season for Liam 'Goalster' Foster, ironically item of the week was Hat Week.

Half time 5-0.

It was a pretty quiet day at the office for the defence with Alex Blanco called in to action at a couple of short corners and expertly ensuring we maintained a clean sheet. Myles 'Maddog' Locke had a solid home debut, Andy 'Posh' Pettefer as efficient as ever.

Higher up the pitch Ali 'the white witch' McColl winning numerous short corners and Eric 'OAP' Watkins enjoying using his wealth of experience to out fox the oppo.

Steve 'the Sneaky Sailor' Ruse was as sneaky and elusive as ever, stretching the pitch and offering a high threat for MK.

The 6th goal finally came during the second half. Goalster capping a special day, with a spectacular individual effort. Beating 3 Guildford players before smashing into the bottom corner.

He then completed his second half brace (to follow his first half hat trick) which concluded proceedings. MK 7 Guildford 0. More games like that and Milton Keynes will rapidly climb the league. Looking forward to the local derby against Banbury next week.

Probably worth mentioning in super small print that McColl brothers both got carded. Green for Ali 'assault' McColl, Yellow for Frazer 'petulant' McColl.

D**k of the Day and author Frazer McColl
Man of the Match and proud owner of the durex match day trophy Liam Foster

Until next time x

Match details

Match date

Sat 05 Nov 2016

Kickoff

12:30

Attendance

15

Competition

Premier Division 1

League position

10
Milton Keynes
12
Guildford
Team overview
Further reading