MK vs Staines

All aboard the Goal Train
by T. Anderson Esq

After a turbulent week and a defeat at home,

Down to Staines-upon-Thames MKHC did roam.

The stage was set for a must-win game,

But preparations were brief; the M25 was to blame.

The team talk spurned the stick in favour of the carrot,

And it seemed to work for the heroes dressed in claret.

Staines had a winger who was bald, like William Hague,

But he was no match for Messrs Cooper and Craig.

Patrolling the flanks with steely determination,

They kept the goal train out of Nick Gagé’s station.

In the middle of the pitch it was the opposite of spacious,

With Dodd marking tightly and Stone being tenacious.

With some neat passing up the right hand side,

Leroy saw the goal train approaching and thought, “I’ll take a ride”.

He bought his ticket and, controlling a pass,

Smashed it in the corner, CoachDad shouted “First Class!”

The second half began similarly nervy,

With no half time oranges, we were worried about scurvy.

Mikey felt side effects, his goal sense began to tingle,

So he went to the ticket office and said “I’ll take a single.”

The goal train then slowed, with too much sand on the tracks,

But Milton Keynes’ defence never showed cracks.

Down to nine, MK switched from goal train to parked bus,

Staines’ goal train still kept out of Gagé’s terminus.

Then there was a breakthrough, Staines’ defending was loose,

The next passenger on the goal train was the returning Stephen Ruse.

Frazer McColl, the Flying Scotsman, was involved in the action,

Throwing an outrageous dummy to provide a distraction.

At 3-0, the goal train saw something rather shocking,

Armed with his student railcard, Charlie Page came knocking!

He must have got on the train going in the wrong direction,

To be in their “D” to score a majestic deflection.

At 4-0, MK’s goal train was speeding like a Shinkansen,

CoachDad was thinking goal difference; he was hoping we’d score ten!

And it even looked possible, as yet another player embarked,

With Ali slotting in the corner, after ghosting in unmarked.

Murtagh was imperious, keeping the train on the tracks,

Providing a crucial link between the forwards and the backs.

He helped keep the scoring rate high, a bit like a costly bowler,

Thomas was our tank engine, but the umpire’s Fat Controller.

As time was running out and the journey was nearly over,

The ball was with the man from Canterbury, near Dover.

A penalty stroke was awarded, after the train was derailed,

In his efforts to stop the ball, the goalkeeper had failed.

CaptainBrother stepped up and brought us into the station,

As we scored our sixth and reached our final destination.

CoachDad concluded that the performance was “beaut”

And a better train journey than his daily commute.